For a person that is used to doing big things, rehabbing houses, building a business of some sort ALWAYS or just creating something, this is a big thought. Resting is hard! It’s just hard…until one’s health forces compliance.
I’ve recently been given some orders to fly low for a while, that my body is needing some reprieve to do some healing. Honestly, defiance would rise within me if I had the oomph to muster it up. But. I. Don’t. I’ll save you the bore of typing out the details, in other words it’s uncomfortable for me to share my weaknesses and expose myself to being judged for whining or to be pitied. Probably the former brings more anxiety. There it is! Isn’t it crazy to just get really honest.
Mike and I were sitting in the hot tub last week just chatting about health, life, fun and responsibilities and these crazy words escaped my mouth with barely any prior thought. I said, “I commit to you that I won’t start a new business endeavor for the rest of this year. I’m going to try to learn what normal life is without such incredible demand on me!”. His eyes got wide. His whole posture changed as he responded with a surprising and excited statement of, “Wow! What a great idea!”. (Let me make this clear, excitement for Mike is being wide eyed and a quick response. That would equal me jumping up and down, squealing and releasing a slew of words to describe the previously demonstrated state of excitement, over and over again.) His quick agreement and response really touched me and confirmed the need for this newfound discipline. Yes, discipline is the accurate word to describe me abstaining from another wild business idea. I’m a dreamer! Can’t stop won’t stop but evidently, I will for 2020, the year of the mouth.
Today I had an appointment for a heart healing session. I’m talking about the emotional, spiritual kind of heart healing, which can’t really be separated from the physical, but I’ll explain it that way just to bring a little more clarification. Let’s just call it a counseling session to make it easier to understand. The difference in this type of session is Jesus joins me in them and always brings revelation and healing. It’s definitely worth investing in! If you want to know more just ask me later.
The whole point of this writing is to share what He showed me today; I’m wrestling with the whole thing of physically resting when I have so much spillage left over from rehabbing houses etc. It looks like a garbage truck from Habitat for Humanity unloaded in my garage. We have a landscaping project 90% done. I’ve had a rug shampooer staring at me for a week, calling me to clean the throw rugs soiled with the dirt that should be in my lawn but somehow took up residence in my rugs and carpet. There is so much dust in my house it feels like I could scoop it up and fill one of my new raised beds to the rim and plant some thriving petunias in it! Everything is coated with a layer of dust!
I have yet to switch out my winter clothes for my cute summer clothes and it’s almost time to use the winter ones again. All of these things weigh heavily on me. I’ll just be real. I have been overcome with anxiety to get these things done so I can function in peace. I just don’t have the oomph to do it. Plus there is the hope that listening to the Doctor and resting will improve these crazy health issues.
But God…. Yes, But God has other ideas, so much higher than ours. Today Jesus had other ideas. I want to share one of the pictures He gave me when we were pressing in to see what He had to say about all of the things I just spilled to you plus all of the anxiety attached to these health issues! He showed me a picture of the back wheel of a ten-speed bike. It was spinning. He drew me in closer to see the gears. He showed me in this time of resting I was not idle but making great gains. He reminded me of when I ride my bike in a low gear how fast I pedal, how much effort it takes to not cover much distance. Then He showed me the larger/higher gear reminding me that the amount of distance covered is much larger with fewer rotations. He showed me that REST IS HIGH GEAR! Please read that again! REST IS HIGH GEAR! When we operate from a restful state, we cover much more ground with less effort! He just gave me permission to rest! He just gave this work-a-holic permission to rest! I receive this and lay down the anxiety and fears I have had recently. I accept that rest is operating in high gear. Any other “Do-ers” out there that just sat back in their recliner in surrender to this revelation? This girl did! Then, He showed me that we still cover ample ground while coasting from our past efforts! Wow! Just Wow! Thank you Jesus for your wisdom and grace. Thank you that you are not of this world and take our minds out of it at times and give us a thought lobotomy in exchanges for truths, our mind for yours!
Jesus, You are good! You are so very good! I pray over the Do-ers out there and for this to soak into their spirits like it did mine! Moreover, I pray that it would stay there and not be set aside while we run off on another wild adventure when it’s the time to rest.